Travian

Being super poor, lends it self to cheap hobbies, and rather drab forms of entertainment. For a few years now I've been playing a browser game called Travian.  It's a war strategy game which plays out on servers all over the world with thousands of players with each game lasting up to 11 months. It involves math, military thinking and believe it or not good communication and social skills combined with team work because the only way to win is to band together 90 players in an alliance.  it's the modern version of the game war, but played out on your computer browser instead of a board game.  once it starts, it doesn't stop.  it runs for months only breaking for Christmas and new years for 3 days.  I like most people involved in a game or sport like this, have tried to get good at it.  I've failed allot,  kept getting up and trying again and again.  a few weeks ago, I started a new round with some players I knew and started out to do really well.  tonight my hopes were smashed after weeks of setting up my account.  I'm devastated   I'm not even just talking upset, i'm almost in tears.  I put all my misery of real life aside when i sit down to play this game, it's my only hobby, my only form of entertainment and it would seem i suck at it.  either that or like real life, I have some bad luck that will not let up.  it's going on 3 am, i can not sleep, i'm sick to my stomach   Not just over this game, but in general this day put my nerves to the test at every turn.
I know it's just a game.  I know it doesn't matter if I win, but somehow the way I feel over this horrible day and horrible outcome of fate is effecting me on way more levels than I'm prepared for.  I literally feel sick.  I'm climbing out of my skin.